Freehand

I
When the store was empty,
I sang “The man in one nineteen
takes his tea all alone”
while my boss
was in the backroom
doing who-knows-what.
He drank Diet Coke,
and I drank Vernor’s.
He ordered pizza when we sold
more software than the other stores.
He bought See’s Candy
at Christmas.
I baked a carrot cake for Jenny
when it was her first year married
and her husband didn’t care
it was her birthday,
and she cried.

II
The volunteer had one drop of moisture
clinging to the tip of his nose.
He wore a straw hat.
“How long have you been old?” I asked,
and he said not long.
When I offered him part of my orange,
he told me he had picked them,
ate whole boxes,
and never liked them since.
There was a snake by my foot.
Robert rode his bike
all the way up Mission Canyon
and surprised me
at the admissions desk,
sweaty and wild.

III
I arranged purple and green kale
with frilly edges
in lines on the salad bar
to make it pretty.
I made loops of Jell-o
in racetrack-like molds
by mixing fruity powder with water
in a huge metal bowl
with a metal oar.
On Dang’s day off
a cockroach was found
in a bowl of strawberries.
I was uninvolved.
I drank coffee
when Dang knew how tired I was
when a shift started
at five in the morning.
I cut my thumb with a knife
and was “rushed to the emergency room”
with a white towel turning red.
I cut my fingers
on the device for slicing tomatoes.
I called for Elaine
and bled over the trash can.

IV
I sat in a cubicle
and read out loud
the essays of students
who wanted help.
We refined
thesis statements.
The shifts were two hours.
My boss thought I hated her,
but I was just afraid.
Then I walked to the bus circle
and waited in the rain.

V
Summertime
at Chinese school
meant kids had
Pokemon cards in albums
and seaweed-wrapped
rice crackers.
I drank bo-ba tea
and had a class of four.
“Do you like kids?” one asked,
and I said, “No more than
other kinds of people.”
On my break
I shooed them and smoked.

-

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Laura-Marie is a 30-something poet and zinester living in Sacramento, California. She creates Erik and Laura-Marie Magazine and mental health zine functionally ill.
Website: http://dangerouscompassions.blogspot.com